the heartbreak of toothbreak

I wandered around leaving messages here and there tonight... lots of profound nonsense (random wisdoms and silliness, perhaps, for I do not know for sure cuz I wasn't paying attention consciously as I was rambling half the time and the other half, it was just playing)...

I am soaking in the ever so stimulating vibrations of Alexa Ray Joel at the moment as the merging of Billy and Christine genes produced a sing I'm loving... Precious wanted to watch The Constant Gardener and I'm getting to listen to music now... Raspy just crawled out of bed and is sleep-farting on the couch... all is as it is, usually, here are this palace of peculiar people (does that add any flavor to the mundane?)...

Alexa gives way to Bright Eyes (with Snow Patrol on the horizon) and my mouth is on my mind as I wander back around to this blog for tonight's death-defying entry... ok, so it's not so death-defying, but then, I am still alive... I explained it in various comments already and you may have read about it, so I won't go on and on about how heartbroken I am because a joke that gets told too often turns into a moan, or maybe a groan, but it certainly won't inspire anyone to phone, except maybe critics...

you don't know what you've got till it's gone, you know?... I was happily taking my teeth for granted for I was certain they loved me, all of them, for they've lived happily in my mouth all my life without so much as a peep of a complaint... even when I would bite down on soda (pop, to many of you) or beer bottle caps to open the bottles... even when I would chomp down ice cubes... even when I would eat the stickiest peanut brittle or tooth-pulling taffy... not a peep... not even when I cracked a couple in those drunken days (actually, they were mostly nights) of carefree debauchery in youthful rebellion, when I did not hold the bottle just right or just slammed the jagged edge of the metal cap down on the corner of my teeth as if my mouth was a bar-mounted bottle opener... yeah, I was so cool back in the day, aye?...

years later, when I finally visited the dentist, I was happy to learn that my teeth still loved me all I needed was mostly cosmetic stuff if I wanted to smooth out the jagged edge of a couple of teeth that gave almost their all for the sake of being a macho human beer bottle opening once upon a time when I was young and ridiculously entertaining in drunken company... so I shared the cost with my insurance company and was introduced to these beautiful tooth caps made of pearly white porcelain or some new age material (I'm no racist)... and my teeth and these hand carved ivory tooth caps were bonded in a most beautiful ceremony... joined in holy matrimony, for better or worse, to live happily ever after till death do us part...

how was I to know a mouthful of chocolate and cashews and caramel would break up the happy couple... yes, my tooth cap broke up with me... or with my tooth, at least... my tooth is heartbroken and doesn't want to talk about it, but the fingers just love to gossip (as you may have noticed), so we're getting all the sordid details... apparently the tooth-cap has been missing the dental assistant because, though it loved my tooth, it goes both ways and was missing that feminine touch only the dental assistant could give her... serves my teeth right for being macho-idiots in their youth, I suppose, for now there's pieces of shattered tooth-heart all over my mouth and no amount of brushing or flossing can comfort the pearly whites tonight...

they've all gone into mourning, preparing for the worst...

but wait, their future is not all dark and gloomy... I called the dentist, who hasn't seen me or my teeth in a couple of years, and his wife called me back just moments later and said the tooth shouldn't worry too much, these sort of break ups happen from time to time, and with some counseling the bond between tooth and tooth-cap can be as good as ever, better even... she told me to come in on Tuesday and the dental marriage counselor will talk to the separated couple and seek a reconciliation... I hope I don't need an oral lawyer...

I won't bore you by repeating all the comments here (if you're bored already, you can always go hunting for them yourself), but this is where my mind has been tonight, while wandering around visiting your blogs (and some others) and leaving relatively random messages designed to distract me from my heartbroken tooth...

how's your day been? :)