locks and gates and security protection

james taylor - sweet baby james
stevie nicks - bella donna
cream - gold v1

but are we really secure?... ah, the fools we mortals be thinking we have some meaningful control over the course of our lives or, in even more grandiose delusional spectre, the world around us as if our decisions are worth the stress and energy invested... as if i can really maintain a bug free zone without killing myself and others in some way and further, as if the struggle against the bugs matter at all in the universal flow of matter and energy... we all have some nocpdjavcff in us after all, even me (especially when i am passing for human... can the land of the mostly dead be far behind?)...

ah, the ludicrous sense of absurdity i sometimes call my sense of humor really does love those pity party antics now and then... while i don't recommend it daily or even more often than perhaps every few months and it certainly should not perk up your day nor should it be the easiest thing to relate to amidst the myriad of things to relate to in your day (telltale sign of lingering depression # 6), the occasional slink into pathetic poor me slouching is a strange deliverance from the depths of hell we can create in the bowels of our psyches (especially when we're not looking)... yes, so, all good advice aside, i'll just stuff my face with more chocolate and ignore the belly one more day...

he sets, he shoots, he scores!... self-mockery wins another round of who's life is this anyway... giggles are not optional... ok so we stepped up the testosterone and manned-up, as the bandit of my dreams would say (remind me to check that kink... yeah, and that link too)... ah, if she only knew me as i know me, or you, even... meanwhile, i men, meanwhile, the kitchen and bedroom got a serious dose of the potent mixture of poison that is not recommended for indoor use (but necessary), especially not in the ratio i mixed... but i am a professional, or at least i played one in high school, so don't try this at home... yeah, at home, get it...

so i went out to meet raspy and precious at the local outback (they came all the way over to around the corner from my place cuz raspy wasn't sure any others were still open and serviing after ten pm... or maybe they just missed me... i said i was too tired at first and i did already fill myself to the gills here, but i realized the pity party i was throwing in the half-assed exterminating job i was doing was counterproductive for killing the bugs and for keeping me alive, so i kicked up the energy, massive dosed the bedroom and kitchen, opened the windows, turned on the air-fan full blast, and went out the meet them... after we sat and talked till midnight, i headed to the hub of american consumerism, walmart, and spent another hundred plus on bug stuff and a few food items... a fane to fit the bedroom window started exhaling the poisons while i wandered down to the office area to search for an internet signal...

once down there, i had to figure out how to get in... the offices and clubhouse is locked up... the pool area is locked up... the 24 hour gym was open, but access was denied until i got to the one door that was openable and then, the search for comfort and the internet began... there are only kiddie chairs in the gym in the kiddie room, so i set the laptop up in there on the kiddie table and away we went... almost... the kiddie room is apparently just out of reach of the wireless connection that management provides, so i had to move to a kiddie chair at the door of the gym closest to the office area and with the hot heavy laptop on my lap (and the gym temperature set for a hot humid 75 degrees), after an hour or so i was sweaty sticky achy and frustrated with the distractions the environs and the online experience was presenting...

the wireless connections sucked, to be precise... it was intermittent, two bars at best, and slow... is that the fate of wireless, to be maxed out at 3G?... i've been used to 6G and higher and i hear cable is pushing 15G, so why would anyone stay with 3G wireless unless there was no choice?... no choice?... oh yeah, that seems to be where i am... a major league strike two against this apartment (the roaches and the cost of controlling them count as a big strike one)... shucks, that really does suck that i have been here about ten days and am already planning to look for a more suitable and satisfying place... i certainly hope the pool/office wireless is better when sitting at the pool or in the clubhouse because what good is free wireless when it's two bars at best and very inconsistent... so on the next apartment search (or house serach) i must questions phone and cable companies about services before signing and further, check the quality of the free amenities...

always learning, that's the ticket...

i've got to be away to meet the sunday softball team at ten am tomorrow so i ought to consider sleep... of course the airborne chemical poisoning possibility is a good insentive to staying awake, as if i needed one... just for the record, two entries were uploaded, but ironically, one was not in thereal blog... that was because of the frustration with the internet connection... i spent most of my internet time on the ATT website... i somehow did find my way to read my mail, however i might have confused a certain mexican hat dance by responding to his email because the name on my email may be somebody else... att amazes me with their incompetence and lack of attention to detail... how can they every produce quality products with such gross errors as having the wrong name (not mine) associated with my account... a moment at meetup, a moment at my blog world, and poof, the internet is gone again...

so you see, i am not ignoring you, i am just floating around in a world without internet or tv or unpacking or settling in or any of the normal human things and the alien in me is coming out to play some more... but it's ok if you feel ignored, i mean, i am the most important thing that's ever happened to you and you wait baited breathed for my every glance, ever hungry for the next bit of attention i may toss your way... so even though i am not deliberately ignoring you, it's ok, due to the vital importance of my very being, whenever i am not around, you can feel ignored... maybe today i'll load all these pages so we can all feel ignored...

oh nyuk, oh mergatroid, exit stage backhand on the south side...