with or without you

well ok then, i'll just continue along my merry way as if we've got all the time in the world to catch up with each other when you get back cuz, after all, i'm not away... not that i haven't been away, i'm just not away at the moment... and even though i adore your being here and love your support and attention and comments and worth, i shall babble on with or without you (but wait, that's what would ordinarily be said behind the candoor so does that mean this blog has become the official babbling blog now that thereal is pretty much an everyday thing?... i suppose it was only a matter of time before my multiple personalities facets decided to make the time for a voice of their own on a more regular basis... if i only had the time i'd probably have several dozen daily blogs all interacting with each other {and some probably not even acknowledging they were me, kind of like an internet radio show or something} but as it is, we might pause at two dailies... though btc is asking what about me more than ever and even the live journals are calling... i may be digressing here a bit, what was the point?)...

ok, so now that you're here, what's up with those yankees?... how much money can a sports figure be worth, anyway?... and it's not just the yankees, it's american greed... whatever happened to kids going to baseball games all summer for next to free?... whatever happened to heroes who meant something?... now sports teams are infested undisciplined creeps snickering at the milking of the fans and whispering, hey kid, wanna buy a logo?...

meanwhile, whatever the price of a ticket, it's not worth it because not enough players care about the game itself anymore... it's like going to a play to see bad actors... or going to watch road workers sit on the side of the words half the day... a few prima donnas take dives to get on sports center and the rest just punch the clock and collect their checks... sports entertainment is not as entertaining as sports...

maybe that's why i actually watched some of the olympics this year... to remember what truly wanting to win at a sport was all about... yeah, so, whatever brought that rant on seems to have dissipated so we'll just mention here that the same cd is playing and it's becoming even better as some more of the words reach my ears... it truly is wonderful when the universe tangibly reminds me that i am a part of it...

i really should have let myself nod off earlier instead of putting an extra thousand calories into my belly and reducing my chances of waking early and heading to the gym tomorrow... but it was worth it, for me, at least... i kinda sorta want to take some time to play with words and let my emotional imagination run free for a while, but that gets in the way of daily responsibilities and healthy habits and i've shortened this body's life span enough already and it's time to turn that pattern around again...

and yet...

when will someone love me
other than myself
when will someone want to be
the mirror on my shelf
when will someone live with me
and know that's where she'll always be
because it feels like destiny
and desire
when will someone share the inner fire

awwww, so emo... let's kill the night is a cool song... the words are slipping through, slowly... maybe it's the tinnitus... don't sleep, don't sleep,

i like to move, i can't sleep
i feel i'm always turning
i toss and turn when i'm awake

i like to feel electric
feel my blood is pumping
i like to know the hour is late

i like to be with you
let's keep the candle burning
you know it's not too late

don't sleep, don't sleep,
let's kill the night
you know there is so much we can say

i like to move so fast till i am feeling dizzy
i like to know the deadline's come and gone
i like to be here with you till we are overwhelmed
till it all seems almost wrong

don't sleep, don't sleep,
let's kill the night
cuz there is so much more that we can say

don't sleep, don't sleep,
i'm restless now
maybe you can show me the way

ok, so i may have missed some words, but i like it... and it's the music that's really seducing me under the skin... different, yet familiar... layers of strings strummed, plucked, bowed... rhythms, melodies, creative chords... comforting repetitions and surprising progressions... but is that me or what?... we're just having a part, me and tom... yay for my mind...

i've been thinking of you
my superstitious one
and of the things you thought
you hadn't done

you know there's nothing to it
it's just a fantasy
these are all just phantoms
made for me
i see right through

i've been thinking of you
and your turnabout
when you spin so quickly
does it wear you out
come back to the moment
walk back in the door
find your sleeping santa
nailed to the floor
that's when we were two
that's where we were two

yes i've been thinking of you
my superstitious one
of your pretty magic
leaves me all undone
you've got no idea
not a single clue
how much i've needed
and longed for you
yes i've ... for you
yes my love, for you
always for you

so am i singing that one or wishing someone would sing that to or about me... this is a cd that reaches deep into the past, deep into the dreams, deep into me... and yet, it'll be amusing to see if i've gotten any of those lyrics wrong if i ever see the printed lyrics... just a few words different changes it from a message for my core to a just a wonderful cd... still, the message is there, and beautiful, and beautifully played...

i'm gonna have to listen to his first cd one of these days, after all, i was finally able to download it... and so, this is the entry for tonight, a bit of babble and fan protest and music... and now, back to the tree of madness for another bite...