I want it to compute

tomorrow, yesterday's entry may appear... for now, I give you this pondering and hope for participation (anything from burps to technical coolness to bug-eyed stares to nerdy geekness is welcome, tell all your friends)... so let's get started now...

I appreciate you pondering this with me (that goes for everybody, not just the amazing z, who's comment inspired this blog entry... in fact, share this blog entry with every techie person you know... better yet, just ask every techie you know to look at this entry and tell me what they think... if they care enough to read my ponderings in the entry below, even better... and I kjnow I am dreaming again, like I actually have a lot of readers who pay attention and pass the word and I could get a variety of opinions and advice on anything, no less techie stuff... pathetic, aren't I?... shhhh, we'll just proceed with the entry now like this little tender moment never happened)...

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yes, the amazing z probably know tons more about the tech stuff than I do... but I'm gonna ponder aloud here and see if it gets me anywhere closer to deciding what to do about this technological and financial decision...

dear friend z suggested a specific computer and I looked at it and that lead to these thoughts (that as often is the case in my brain, start at a specific concrete point and expand into oblivion, which may seem futile to some, or even most, but that is the method to my madness and in the end, gets me to the decisions in life that are best for me, usually, so I hope you enjoy coming along on this particular journey through my mind)... I looked for the X3100 video card... I didn't find test reports on it, yet...

I found this laptop... though the 15" screen is a big drawback, probably a deal-killer for me (I am spoiled by the 21" I've used for a couple of years and my eyes do not want to go back down below 20" again), but it has a new T7300 processor... specs: 2GHz Intel Core 2 Duo Mobile T7300, 2GB DDR2, 160GB, DVD±RW DL, Windows Vista Business, 15.4" LCD...

and I found this one... again, I don't see enough tech specs and test reports to buy it...

the puzzle for me, at the moment, is how these T7000 CPU series machines are being some for these prices when most T7000 machines in stores are going for well over $2000... again, I suspect that manufacturers are using inferior video cards and other components not nearly worthy of the T7000 CPU series... perhaps this entry explains it (along about page 7)...

I really do not want to buy anything without knowing what it's made of, researching comparison reviews of the component parts and especially the video card (since Vista Aero sucks up video memory and works best, as do most video things, with a video card that has a discrete video chipset and dedicated video RAM)...

I also do not want to spend more than a thousand bucks on something I can not upgrade and is already obsolete or will be by next week... I know a new and improved component comes out every few months, but there is a certain level of technology that is at the best bang for the buck, that provides the best value of potential to keep up with technology while not being the top-end price (that's bound to drop dramatically in a few months)...

for instance, the latest release Intell QX6800 Extreme Quad Core Processor at over $1000 is the top rated CPU on the market at the moment... the 6600 Duo Core 2 at $220 has been the best affordable CPU for some time now... just this month, the Q6600 Quad Core came down to about $280 and the test results say it's at premium value right now...

so I've read (and probably said) repeatedly (and from what I can understand of the specs), the Q6600 processor at $280 is an unbeatable value as it'll probably keep pace at the high-end for a year or two... and the weakest point in computers causing the most crashes seems to be the video card, esecially video cards without dedicated memory...

I've been studying charts at this site recently... and this is the site where I did a lot of reading this weekend... not just that article, but specific reports comparing CPU values (I want one of these for Xmas 2008) and video cards and motherboards and Chipsets and more... I am considering re-learning how to build computers from scratch and playing with overclocking and that sort of techie nerdy geeky stuff cuz, after all, what else do I have to do in my spare time these days...

but even without techie fun, just as a dedicated user, amatuer techie, and internet explorer (pun intended), everything I've read about Windows Vista, especially Aero, says using shared memory is asking for video sluggishness or crashing and already yesterday's configuration... I'm reading that a lack of dedicated video RAM is already obsolete and will bottleneck Vista Areo... it is a sign of cost-cutting in packaged systems that already limits the experience and will not grow... I get enough cvideo crashes with my $100 machine, I don't want to buy a machine 10x the price and still get video slowness or crashes...

as for games, I used to love video games (and can get quite addicted) when I was on the cutting edge of computing back when the Atari 1040 was competing with the Amiga 2000... I was also, briefly (for a year or so), a PS2 junkie in 2002... I would cery much like to try not to get too addicted to one game in particular, NCAA Football, and I don't want to use last year's software... if the manufacturers are going to finally start using the 64 bit platform, then I want a processor and video card that can handle it...

I am torn though...

I've survived just fine with my meager my poverty-based machine without games, without video capabilities, without DVD or even CD capabilities, without instant messenger or telephony or camcorder capabilities... extremely limited experience, but the minimum of getting my words out here for anyone to find is happening even with this backwards technology...

but if I do decide spend $1000 or more, I want to eliminate the limits and the waiting 1-2 minutes for pages to load and pages that simply will not load and video/graphics crashing... all I've read says the newer video cards with dedicated memory is the way to go... and realistically, I can not afford to be jet setting and traveling around and I do not think I am all that into trying to be hip and cool at internet cafes and WiFi hotspots... and I definitely do not want to limit myself to a 17" monitor... and I believe to really get quality images on a 22" (or a 37" HDTV used as a monitor) requires one of the latest video cards...

I didn't research laptops, but I imagine my ideal laptop would not be in a pre-packaged box because most manufacturers are targeting the audio-video market even in their laptops... that seems illogical for me...

in a laptop I want what laptops are made for, maximum battery life, portability, lightweight, and durability, and for me, a laptop will primarily be a word processor for blogging with music capabilities... watching movies or playing games on a laptop screen is not what I want to do and a laptop that has the capability of really giving a good movie or gaming experience might as well be a desktop for it's size, weight, and limited battery life...

the system I ponder building is focused on home-based audio-video experience... in a desktop I want to head in the direction of a computer that can produce 37" HDTV with 2560x1600 or better graphics and I will settle for no less than a 22" monitor for starters...

so now we come to the crossroads... I ponder how much I want to move into the audio-video home-theatre experience (on and off the web, including instant messaging, video phoning, and ultimately, audio-video editing... and maybe getting my keyboard out of mothballs and making some music?... that is on that path... and we may be getting to the point of the crux of the matter after all), ultimately finally unpacking and "moving in" to a physical space I can call home...

vs.

how much I want to stay portable and become a more high-tech mobile blogger...

both directions appeal to me and I'd go in both directions if cost was not a factor... which direction to start in is the first decision...

if I buy a desktop audio-video system, I'm still going to buy a laptop down the road, like early next year, maybe sooner... more likely a used one...

if I buy a laptop, I'll probably be less likely to buy the desktop system anytime soon (and continue putting off any ideas of exploring my audio-video musical techie creativity) as I will reinforce my continued waiting for someone to share life and fun and intimate space before I really invest in anything mindset...

perhaps you see why I am leaning toward splurging on the desktop system and from these words I've written so far, you might think the desktop is better for me and you might want to support the apparent rebirth the could happen...

on the other hand, settling down and investing in stuff and getting comfortable at home alone could be a sign that hope is truly waning and be one of the final nails in the coffin for my dreams of finding true love and romance and sharing life with a soulmate as I finally physiacally star re-building my physical world to my specifications for myself and no one else...

fact is, getting more mobile and hanging out and blogging and browsing and writing at book stores and cafes would put me out there where some sort of actual connections in the physical world might happen...

from that perspective, now perhaps the laptop becomes the best idea...

so far I have convinced myself that both ideas are the ultimately the choice that is best for me and will dramatically change my life for the better...

stop laughing...

I am talking to myself...

I will most likely continue talking to myself, pondering this decision from technological, sociological, psychological, and maniacal perspectives for a bit longer (at least until next weekend, or the end of the month, maybe)... maybe I should get even more techie and post on some techie boards, but then, what good would seeking feedback from strangers do for me...

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